I’ve just got a new mobile phone on a cheaper tariff. I have stayed with Orange, since they were (more or less) able to match a cheaper deal I’d seen. However, having just gone through the process of switching sim cards and handsets, I’d like to record three distinct processes that should all be the same (but aren’t): what is says in the box, what they say on the phone, and what happens in real life!

What is said in the box

The Quick Start Guide said the process was as follows:

  1. Transfer your contacts from old sim to old phone, then from old phone to new sim.

  2. Insert the sim into the new phone.

  3. Charge the new phone.

  4. Turn the phone on.

4a. You’ll get some texts within 24 hours. If there are no texts within 24 hours, phone up Orange with the sim and phone ID numbers.

4b. Read and delete the texts.

4c. Turn the phone off and back on again.

Sounds great. Very easy.

What they said on the phone

It quickly became apparent that the new texts weren’t going to arrive because the phone wasn’t getting a signal and kept throwing up sim card registration failed error messages. So I phoned Orange up. [To be fair, I think the person who arranged my new tariff had said I would need to phone up, but it would be nice if the quick start guide said that more clearly.]

So, here is the revised process according to the Orange person who activated my sim (new content in bold, superseded content struck out):

  1. Transfer your contacts from old sim to old phone, then from old phone to new sim.

  2. Insert the sim into the new phone.

  3. Charge the new phone.

  4. Turn the phone on.

4a. You'll get some texts within 24 hours. If there are no texts within 24 hours, phone up Orange with the sim and phone ID numbers. You have to register the new sim and phone by phoning up. Waiting 24 hours would be a complete waste of time.

4a(i). Turn the new phone off for two hours. You can continue to use the existing one until you have done the stuff with the text messages.

4a(ii). After two hours, turn the phone back on. You should get two text messages.

4b. Read and delete the texts.

4c. Turn the phone off for ten minutes and back on again.

4d. New sim will start working in new phone. Old sim will stop working in old phone.

There was also some confusion over what my new tariff would be, caused by the fact that the person I had spoken to before had quoted it at the new, temporary 15% rate of VAT, but the person activating the sim quoted it at the old 17.5% rate. She told me the difference was due to VAT, but explained it by saying the price I had originally been quoted was exclusive of VAT. My mental arithmetic, even first thing in the morning, is good enough to know that wasn’t the case. It wasn’t until later that I realised what had caused the discrepancy.

What actually happened

In a nutshell, my old sim stopped working within five minutes of that phone call. Here’s what actually happened:

  1. Transfer your contacts from old sim to old phone, then from old phone to new sim.

  2. Insert the sim into the new phone.

  3. Charge the new phone.

  4. Turn the phone on.

4a. You have to register the new sim and phone by phoning up. Waiting 24 hours would be a complete waste of time.

4a(i). Turn the new phone off for two hours. You can continue to use the existing one until you have done the stuff with the text messages until your old one stops working. which could be a matter of a few minutes.

4a(ii). After two hours this short time, turn the phone back on. You should get two text messages.

4b. Read and delete the texts.

4c. Turn the phone off for ten minutes and back on again.

4d. New sim will start working in new phone. Old sim will stop working in old phone.

Conclusion

I’m sorry if this comes across as a bit of a rant. I am very happy with the new phone (a Nokia 5800, since you ask), and with most of the service I get from Orange.

However, it’s just frustrating that a company which presumably sets up tens of thousands of people each year with new sims and mobile handsets can’t nail down the process and describe it clearly and accurately.

Rant over. Normal service will resume forthwith.